We’re clearly in the business of pitching Niall side jobs, so we may as well begin, yeah? Hey Niall, Our Idea Of ‘Dear Patience’ Is Having A Death Staring Match With An Hour Glass! Well, we’ve turned three songs of his into scenarios, and then, with the help of his lyrics and a bit of analysis, we’ll figure out what his advice would be. It’s up the alleyway of one of those Cosmo advice columns where a puzzling reader writes in, asking for advice for a situation they can’t exactly find their way out of. Niall’s so good at calming us down that we wondered what it’d be like if he went one step further, opening up a lover’s hotline. ‘Meltdown’ is what Niall calls it, and though it feels more frantic than the gentle sweeping of ‘Mirrors,’ another mental health anthem, hidden on Flicker, we’re, uh, still with him. That is, until our leg starts jerking when the 180 bpm kicks in, and all visualizations of him delicately declaring, “When it all melts down, I’ll be there,” fizzle into feisty wolves trying to gnaw our insides in tangible dreams, almost as if they’re the true waking world. And we’re curling up on our favorite side of the bed in the knowledge that we’re safe. Niall Horan’s once again donning his hero attire – an electric guitar and chain loafers – to croon positive reinforcements in our ears.
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